引言模板:
In today’s [形容词] world, [主语] are confronted with [描述现状]. Therefore, it is essential for them to [提出建议].
主体段落模板:
The first step is [步骤名称]. It is crucial for [主语] to [具体做法], which involves [详细说明]. Additionally, [补充建议] can provide [好处].
The second step is [步骤名称]. A successful [主题] requires [必要条件]. It is vital to [重要做法], as [原因说明].
The final step is [步骤名称]. Throughout [时间段], [现象描述], necessitating [应对措施].
结论模板:
In conclusion, [总结要点] is imperative. With [态度/方法], I believe [预期结果].
练习
In today’s rapidly world, students are confronted with greatly competitive. Therefore, it is essential for them to make career planning, which can help them apart from other resumes in the job marking. So here are some advice.
rapidly(副词)→ 需形容词rapid修饰名词world
greatly competitive(副词 + 形容词)→ be confronted with后接名词,改为great competition(“面临激烈竞争”)
help them apart from → 搭配错误,“脱颖而出” 固定表达为help them stand out from(apart from是 “除了”,无 “突出” 含义)
other resumes → 逻辑错误(学生和 “候选人” 比,不是和 “简历” 比),改为other candidates
job marking → 拼写错误,应为job market(就业市场)
advice是不可数名词,谓语用is(不是are)
The first step is clearly aiming. It is crucial for us to analysis ourself, which involves personality, self-condition, inspiration. Additionally, we can also enquire our closely friends or families, who may give us more useful advice.
clearly(副词)→ 需形容词clear修饰名词aim(或用动词短语clearly defining their aims,更自然)
us → 指代不一致(前文主语是students),改为them
analysis(名词)→ 需动词analyse/analyze(美式)
ourself → 复数反身代词themselves(对应students)
personality, self-condition, inspiration → 并列名词缺and;inspiration(灵感)用词不当,职业规划应指interests(兴趣),self-condition改为personal conditions更地道
we/us → 指代不一致,改为they/them
enquire → 搭配错误(“咨询他人” 用consult,enquire后需加of,如enquire of sb)
closely(副词)→ 形容词close修饰名词friends
families → 指 “家人” 用family(集合名词),families是 “多个家庭”
The second step is firmly action. A successful planing requires firmly executive. It is vital to stay committed to the career plan, as focusing on it can conserve energy that might otherwise be wasted on unproductive pursuits.
firmly(副词)→ 形容词firm修饰名词action;加不定冠词a(action可数)
planing → 拼写错误(双写 n),应为planning
firmly executive → executive(形容词 / 高管)→ 需名词execution(执行);用firm修饰
the final step is thinking, Throughout our whole career paths, we may meet a lot of opportunities in the same direction, necessitating careful consideration about which it aligns best with your long-term growth aspirations.
the → 句首大写The;thinking用词模糊,改为constant reflection(持续反思,贴合语境)
our/we/your → 指代不一致,统一为their/they
career paths → 单数career path(每人一条职业路径)
which it aligns best → it多余(which指代opportunities),改为which ones align best(ones指代具体机会)
In conclusion, establishing a well-defined career plan and adhering to it in alignment with your career goals is imperative. With a dedicated approach, I believe every student can achieve a prosperous future.
your → 指代一致改为their
主语是两个动作(establishing + adhering),谓语用are(不是is)
练习结果
In today’s rapid world, students are confronted with great competition. Therefore, it is essential for them to make career plans, which can help them stand out from other candidates in the job market. So here is some advice.
The first step is to clearly define their aims. It is crucial for them to analyze themselves, which involves their personality, personal conditions and interests. Additionally, they can also consult their close friends or family, who may give them more useful advice.
The second step is to take firm action. A successful plan requires firm execution. It is vital to stay committed to the career plan, as focusing on it can conserve energy that might otherwise be wasted on unproductive pursuits.
committed 形容词,表示”坚定的”; stay committed 保持坚定
The final step is constant reflection. Throughout their entire career path, they may encounter many opportunities in the same field, necessitating careful consideration of which ones align best with their long-term growth aspirations.
动词 consider 可以直接接宾语 / 宾语从句:We consider which ones align best.
名词 consideration 必须加介词 of:We need careful consideration of which ones align best.
In conclusion, establishing a well-defined career plan and adhering to it in line with their career goals are imperative. With a dedicated approach, I believe every student can achieve a prosperous future.
in line with = in accordance with,意为 “与…… 一致、符合”